On My Goat

In response to:I saw a lion!

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:43:34 +0200

Hahaa, Matt's been bothering all of us about this for ages and it didn't even cross my mind to doubt that there could be a lion in Wivelsfield. It's a strange and mysterious place, and to be honest after reading this I'm having serious trouble believing there wasn't a lion.

In response to:I saw a lion!

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 10:19:08 +0200

This is bloody brilliant. I live in Wivelsfield and we all agreed "LION SIGHTINGS IN VILLAGE" has to beat any other trashy local headline out there... I almost fell off my bike when I saw that!
Thing is, Wivelsfield is creepy/deserted enough that I don't actually find it too hard to believe. I get the train there too in the mornings, and to be honest you find yourself looking out for horse-riding bank robbers duelling at noon on the platform....
Keep up the, erm, commuter safaris; finding the story of the bloke who actually saw it made my day!

In response to:A copper with humour by-pass.

Sat, 27 May 2006 22:33:18 +0200

My advice is not to do the joke about the knife in your sock at emigration/immigration at the airport, either. I did it once and it went down like a lead balloon.

In response to:A copper with humour by-pass.

Fri, 19 May 2006 15:16:37 +0200

Exactly - "I am the law - bow down to Ming the Merciless."
The joke originally cam from Sammy Nelson who played for Arsenal and Brighton - he had been away on tour with Northern Ireland and the his landlady who provided with him digs complained to the manager of Arsenal that he owed a couple of weeks rent. The manager ordered him into the office and made him ring Mrs Adams to apologise. Sammy got the engaged tone but proceeded to wind the manager up by saying "Hi Mrs Adams, it's Sammy, listen here I'll pay you your fucking rent when i fucking well like you stupid cow!" he turned around to see the manager running at him with a chair! Perhaps the writing was on the wall as far as that gag was concerned. Anyway it certainly wound the copper up! Some poor bugger probably got the wrath of the PC later that day though.

In response to:A copper with humour by-pass.

Fri, 19 May 2006 14:49:22 +0200

Your completely right about the local rozzers.

Whilst I have fortunately never had the mis-fortune of being on the wrong end of the law, I do think that predominently they are a bunch of jumped up, power hungry twats with too much spare times on their hands.

As per that program on tv recently - they want to spend less time playing hide and seek, or pin the class a on the minority member and spend a little more time chasing the real criminals.

Bastard faschists.